My tryst with social norms.
I have grown up in a fairly modern Indian family. Having completed my medical school and specialist training in India, I moved abroad for further fellowship exams. My parents have been very supportive of my journey so far although my mother does worry about her ‘29 years old single daughter’.
My relatives and friends have always been very concerned about me. Well sometimes their concern overflows!
When you show up for a family event;
1. Everyone is surprised that you were able to make it inspite of your busy schedule. (Other people have jobs too, not just doctors!)
2. You are very pleasently questioned as to what have you contributed in this particular family event eg. cooking, decorations, shopping etc etc
3. Why do you have to go back to work the very next day?
4. The advice: being career oriented is fine, what about family life? Date a nice guy and settle down soon and have lots of kids before your biological clock ticks.
5. You can put in a central line, but can you cook as well?
6. The comparisons. When your cousins are married and well settled. Why can’t you do the same?
When you don’t show up;
1. She is always working. She never has time for the family. No respect.
2. She gives her job way too much importance.
3. She has crossed her ‘marriageable’ age.
4. Her parents are not bothered about her.
I do miss out on family events. I am never updated on family front. But I do try my best to be as involved as possible. Medicine is not about money or just a job to me. Its my passion. I am yet to strike the right balance.
They love you when you are gone, yet hate to see you leave…..